Young Adults Establishing their own Home

A grown, young adult child still living at home should be encouraged to spread their wings and fly or at least seek their own living quarters. Surely, there must be a way to encourage your young adult children to leave the nest without hurting their feelings or causing dissension in the family. The facts are, that most young adult children live at home because it’s very expensive to afford a place of their own. Complacency and comfort may also be a reason young adults remain at home with their parents.

Alas, they may present to you very valid excuses why they remain living in your home, way after college graduation. Perhaps, the grown adult child finds themselves back at home because they lost their job or can’t find gainful employment.They may have gotten themselves into a financial bind. In any case, this subject will eventually have to be discussed with your grown up child. Parents must resolve not to kick out their young adult child, but tactfully encourage them to leave the nest. Parents might explain,the rewards of making it on your own is a self satisfying accomplishment.

The weening stage for grown up children should begin soon after high school graduation. Unfortunately, most young adults have no concept of this huge responsibility of paying a monthly rent, utilities or even managing living on their own.This weening process should start with making your grown adult child responsible for a monthly bill for the household. If they balk at this idea of paying one of the monthly expenses of living in a home. You can bet, that they’re not ready to live on their own.

The young adult should be encouraged to investigate the option of finding a room mate to split the cost of an apartment. The room mate situation can be fraught with personality conflicts and control issues. How ever, splitting the cost of the apartment should be the primary goal of the room mates. A parent might suggest someone to their child to consider for a potential room mate. The final decision should be left up to the young adult. After all, they will have to work out their own living arrangements. 

Most young adults may not be able to sign a lease agreement for an apartment or rental. This might provide another teachable moment for the young adult on the importance of establishing and maintaining a good credit score. Chances, are a parent might have to co-sign for the financial responsibility of renting an apartment. 

Of course in every situation, there is give and take.  The young adult will gain freedom. Yes, freedom can be costly. They might come to understand budgeting to pay household utilities and buy groceries is the cost for this new found freedom.

A popular jazz tune repeats in the refrain, “God bless the child that’s got it’s own.” Planning and establishing a budget are the means for a young adult to venture out on their own.  Parents might help their child plan to get their own place  and discuss a budget with them to maintain their bills. This type of conversation should be constructive and non-confrontational.