Why Grandparents should not Interfere with Parenting their Grandchildren

In my experience as a mother of three and grandparent of nine, I have learned that it does not benefit a parent to interfere with the way their children parent their own children.
It makes for a lot of resentment and uneasiness at visits. If after constant interfering, you’re even welcomed for visits. Now, (in my opinion) this does not apply when there is any kind of physical or mental abuse happening.

A couple becomes parents and they are allowed to raise their children with their beliefs and values. Thus, when the children become adults and have families of their own, they should have the right to raise their children with their own beliefs and values. Your job of raising your child is done. If they need your help or advice, they will ask. If you force it on them or when your grandchildren are in your care and you go against their parenting ways, you will only cause resentment and possibly your right to see them.

Your grown children will not think exactly as you do about most things. But your love for them should always show in how you treat and help rear their children when they are with you. If this is done, your grandchildren will always be assessible to you and you will be a big part of their lives. And isn’t that what we all want in the end, to be a part of our children and grandchildren’s lives?

I am very lucky in that I am. I may not always agree with their life’s decisions, but I respect them and support them 100%. My grandchildren know that when they are with me, their parent’s house rules still apply. My children respect me for that. And that means alot to me.

Six years ago, I started a tradition of my own for my grandchildren and I. At the beginning of each year, we have what I call an ‘I love my grandkids sleepover’. I send out invitations (I usually make up myself or have printed). I come up with something different to add every year. We dance, sing, play games, sometimes do crafts and they sleepover. It’s me and them for at least 24 hours. It’s a real bonding tool. We have a ball.

By my respecting my kids decisions on their child rearing and abiding by their rules for them, I’m rewarded with such special occasions as my tradition with them. And being included in every special occasion they have. They never leave me out. It’s not my right to interefere anyway. So by not, I’m more than welcomed into their world, and I feel blessed everyday.