When your Teen is Ready for Sex

So much is at stake when an adult decides to engage in a sexual relationship; how much more is at stake when it is a teen making that all important decision. For anyone, at any age, the decision to have sex is a life changing event or milestone, if you will.

The short answer to when a teen is ready for sex is that they are not. It is quite simple and should make sense to all; however, unfortunately, there are those, parents included, who believe that sex is a decision of the heart, when it is not.

Having sex is one of those decisions that encompass’ all areas of one’s life. It involves the heart and the body, as well as one’s education and eventual (or current) career and relationship choices. Yet some continue to think teenagers are capable of this type of decision making.

Let’s look at this rationally, as adults. Is a child of 13 to 18 (and sometimes into their 20s) able to foresee:

Being married

Life with a spouse and a child

An end to their college and future plans

Life with a terminal disease

The possibility of an abusive relationship

While their new pulsing hormones rage and their bodies betray their decision making process it can be assumed that no, they are not able to make these decisions rationally.

In a Guttmacher Institute Fact Sheet it is noted that currently some teens have sex by the age of 15, while most wait until their late teens; between 17 and 19.  Their reasoning for not having sex is quite mature as opposed to earlier data. Most teens state that they decide not to have sex because it is against their moral or religious beliefs and because they do not want to become parents.

One can assume that these current reasons are due to attentive parenting and education. However, while these statistics are encouraging there are those teens that are engaging in sexual activity; education or no. The majority of teens who engage in sex are still influenced most by peer pressure and popularity issues; especially those teens whose home lives are either permissive or simply not good.

Education in school and in the media can be quite controversial, as well as contradicting. As recent as a year ago Teenage Mom reality shows were all the rage; sensationalizing the stigma of teen parenthood, and making entertainment out of the turmoil and trauma of newly created lifelong relationships that would not succeed.

Sex education must begin at home. The biological factors taught in school are good, only when coupled with reasonable, understanding, and mature parenting at home. Parents must also remain vigilant about what their teens are watching, both on TV and the internet.

Teenage sex and the resulting issues are forever, on many levels. Reputations are damaged. Educations are ended, as well as some career choices. The quality of life for the teens and their children are permanently altered by immature choices when it comes to having sex. Not to mention the tragedy of sexually transmitted diseases, many of which are lifelong and terminal.

There really is no end to how important the decision to engage in sex is in one’s life scheme; and that the decision making skills of the teen are limited. There is so very much to be considered. In the hedonistic society that exists today, where even the rules governing parenting are given to the child to decide, it is a miracle that some of the teens of today are actually deciding not to engage in sex.