What not to say to a Pregnant Woman

There are things you can say to a pregnant woman and things you shouldn’t say to a pregnant woman, most of the latter come from either men or women that have never been pregnant nor know anyone that has been pregnant.  

The number one thing a pregnant woman does not want to hear is how huge she is.  This is a common mistake made by many, men, women, mothers, teenagers all alike.  “You must be due any day now!.”  Well, no in truth she’s not due for 9 more weeks.  Many, not all, pregnant women feel huge as it is.  They are self-conscious and they know that their belly just keeps growing by the day, they don’t need reminders of it.  Just think, if you are saying it to them, there are 10 more people before and after you that have said it, and she thinks it every time she looks in the mirror or tries to bend over to pick something up.  

Pointing out that a woman is too young or too old to be having a child.  Yes, teen pregnancy seems to be everywhere lately.  Those young girls may act tough on the outside but on the inside they are terrified.  Not only do they have the same worries of any other mother but there is the added pressure of everyone, including strangers, that feel the need to point out that they are too young to have a baby.  What is done is done and that girl and her baby are going to need all the support they can get.  As for those women in their late 30’s and early 40’s having babies, people seem to have something to say about that too.  “Oh my, you are having a baby at your age.”  If they were younger you would be saying they are too young, but now that they are older and stable they are still being criticized.  Being pregnant at any age is not easy, every mother has the same fears and worries, their age should not be a factor.  There are just as many good mothers at any age as there are bad mothers, age is only a number, not proof of qualifications. 

Most women can tell you what they craved during each pregnancy she has had.  Sometimes it seems that the cravings take over and what a pregnant woman wants may not always the healthiest of foods or the most sensible.  Telling a pregnant woman that she shouldn’t be eating something or telling her she has to eat this or that is a no, no.  It is like a toddler going through a picky eating stage, the doctor will tell you as long as they are gaining weight they are fine.  They are getting everything they need throughout the day or week, it just isn’t always when the parents want them to eat it.  A pregnant woman will eat what she wants when she wants and most of the time it all evens out in the end.  As long as she isn’t consuming something hazardous to the baby or herself, such as raw beef, it is probably okay.  The doctors are the experts and if they aren’t concerned then there is no reason for you to be concerned. There was once a cashier at a fast food restaurant that actually tried and refuse to sell a pregnant woman a soda.  She said that caffeine was bad for the baby and she would not sell the woman something that would harm the baby.  The manager was called and the soda was sold.  The woman was not consuming a diet of only soda and telling the woman she wasn’t allowed to have soda probably just made her want it even more.There would be a difference if she was trying to purchase a rum and coke but it was only soda.  It may not be the best thing to drink but it is definitely not the worst either.  

The important thing to remember is that a pregnant woman is hormonal, her body has been taken over and she doesn’t always feel in control of her thoughts and emotions.  You will want to think things through before you say them to her, for fear it may cause an angry outburst or a bout of tears. Be sensitive, she doesn’t want to be nagged about what she should or shouldn’t be doing, she doesn’t want to hear about how much she has changed or about the weight she has gained. Don’t overly compliment her, she will see right through that, even if it is sincere, those hormones are in control for 40 weeks.