Tweens Pre Teens

Parenting teen-agers is hard. I am the mother of two boys and one girl. My oldest son and I always bumped heads. We would get involved in these scream-fest that would last for hours. He and I were just too much alike and we both always had to have the last word. My son Thomas went through all of the common teenager shenanigans, sneaking out, stealing, and then drinking. When he finally did straighten out his act, it was his mouth, that I couldn’t deal with. He was always lippy and didn’t know when to just keep his mouth shut. As much of a struggle as he and I went through, it all turned out good in the end. He is in college now, fully paid for by himself. He earned a scholarship by getting a 4.0 grade-point average in High School. You never really know how your kids are going to turn out. I would have thought that Thomas would have had the most issues when he moved out. I thought his mouth would get him in trouble. Teenagers will learn, but it usually isn’t until they leave home. My son calls me often, and is a very different person from that teen I once knew. I don’t take any of the credit for his success. I have always told my kids that when all is said and done, it is their own life they make. I won’t take the credit nor the blame.

My daughter is the one who I am now concerned with. She likes to be with her friends more than her family. She is only fifteen years old but thinks she is thirty. I never would have thought in a million years that she would be the one with the most problems. I guess I never factored in hormones. She, like Thomas, is lippy and disrespectful. I have learned from experience that there is not a whole lot you can do about it. You just have to hold on tight and wait for the hurricane to run it’s course. Teenagers’ minds are not fully developed. That transition from being a child and becoming an adult is difficult to say the least. All you can do is love them, and hope that they learn from their mistakes. Sometimes I look at her and think, where did my sweet young little girl go? She is so angry most of the time. I can’t even have a conversation with her because she is so negative.

My younger son has never been much of a problem. He does his home-work without being told and always lets me know where he is. He has done a few wrong things, but he is not disrespectful. If I ask him to do something for me, he does it.

I’ve made allot of mistakes raising my children. I still hold out hope that they will all turn out alright. The one thing I know for certain is that there is no blue-print for raising them. There is no formula for success. All teens are different and what works for one will not work for another. Sometimes the best thing you can do for your teens is to let go and trust them. Respect their opinions, and don’t bail them out when they make a mistake.