Top 10 Things that no one Tells a new Father to be

Being pregnant can change everything about a woman not just her appearance. Sure she is growing and changing, that was to be expected but she may also have developed and over sensitive nose and that aftershave that was so sexy is just overpowering and will make her gag. Her favorite food may now make her nauseous. Her mind is now occupied by bigger and more important things and she may be forgetful. Things that never ached before, hurt all the time. Some of these things will go back to the way they were, she will find your aftershave sexy again.

Going into labor is not like it is in the movies. The mom-to-be is not going to wake you up at 2 am and say it is time and then you both rush out the door and barely make it to the hospital in time. Labor takes a long time and it may be a while until she even realizes that it is real labor. Then you still have several hours usually. You do not usually need to go to the hospital until the contractions are 6-10 minutes apart. Babies are not usually born in the car. When the water breaks, if it breaks before you get to the hospital, it is usually not a gusher because the baby’s head is acting as a stopper.

The mom-to-be will probably not stand up in the bed and pull your lip over your head like Bill Cosby says but she may be very, let’s say different when she is in hard labor. This is because she is in the most excruciating pain anyone can imagine. She really does need help breathing because all she really wants to do is hold her breath until the pain stops. She needs you to be supportive and to be her advocate during this time.

Hold the baby as soon as you can and as much as you can. You will never regret it.

Babies need a lot of stuff but they don’t need everything at once. You need a car seat and a place for the baby to sleep, either a crib or bassinet. You don’t need a highchair until they can sit but a swing is invaluable.

Babies cry a lot. They cry because they are hungry or poopy or wet or have gas or are in pain or are sick or because they are lonely or want someone to keep them in constant motion or some other baby reason that you may never figure out. Hold them, feed them, change them, burp them, walk them and put them in a swing.

New moms cry a lot. Post partum blues is very common, so is post partum depression. It’s a hormonal thing so don’t worry that she hates the baby or hates being a mom just because she is sad or crying. Give her a break and some reassurance. If she is thinking about harming herself or the baby, get her immediate medical help. If she is just overwhelmed, sleep deprived and blue, it will pass with time and support.

No sex for at least six weeks. Sorry, doctor’s orders. Besides, you really wouldn’t want it anyway because she is really gross for a while. And if she is breastfeeding and you are a boob man, sorry. They are working girls now.

Babies are very needy and will consume your life. They need to be fed and bathed and changed and looked after and then they learn to crawl and the entire house needs to be safe and they have to watched like a hawk so they don’t stick a finger in an outlet then the learn to walk and the have to be watched like a hawk so they don’t wander into the street then they learn to do new and unexpected stuff and they have to be watched like a hawk so they don’t unlock the garage door and climb in the new SUV and put it in reverse and crash through the garage door.

Having a family is the greatest thing that can happen to a guy and nothing beats having a little baby look up at you with those big eyes and smile.