Surrogacy Donor Surrogate Mother and Parent Surrogate Questions in Surrogacy

Surrogacy is when one woman carries a child to give another the opportunity to fulfill their dreams of becoming a mother themselves. For one reason or another, a woman considering surrogacy is unable to bear a child herself. For the woman who is to be the surrogate, bearing the gift of life is an amazing process that requires someone who is a very special person.

Surrogacy is not a decision neither the intending parents nor the surrogate should enter into lightly. It is a selfless act, one that can have many repercussions if the whole process has not been considered carefully.

Following is a look at the many questions you should ask yourself if you’re considering surrogacy, as the surrogate or the intended parent.

WILL I USE AN AGENCY OR USE AN INDEPENDENT SURROGATE?

There are many women who are willing to use their wombs to give another the gift of life. If you have exhausted all other avenues and surrogacy is your next option, then you will need to locate someone who is willing and suitable to become a surrogate. Many women find people within their own families and friends and others use an agency where surrogates are represented.

WHAT PROCESS WILL YOU CHOOSE?

Depending on your individual circumstances, you will need to assess the process of surrogacy you will choose. You may use your own egg and husbands sperm, the surrogate’s egg and your husband’s sperm or a donor egg or donor sperm.

WHO IS AN IDEAL SURROGATE?

The search for a surrogate is one that can interfere with many personal and private issues. You will not only need to assess their physical characteristics, but their medical history including their ancestors, their lifestyle, existing family if any and their emotional stability.

ARE YOU EMOTIONALLY READY FOR THIS?

There are so many factors that you need to consider when you choose to be a surrogate or the intended parent. The process is one that is very long and emotionally exhausting, so it is one that does not want to be taken upon lightly.
At the start and during the process, all parties involved should partake in counseling.

An agency will provide this for you but if you’re an independent surrogate or intended parent, you will need to locate someone who can listen to all concerns during the process.

There are many psychological and ethical issues revolving around surrogacy, so of both parties receive individual then group counseling, many problems can be located early on and throughout the process.

LEGALS AND LIABILITIES

First of all you’ll need to find out what laws exist in your local state or country pertaining to surrogacy. Some countries prohibit it whereas others have minor laws regulating how a surrogate is found and regarding the issue of money.

You will need to obtain a lawyer who specializes in surrogacy law. Whether you’re the surrogate or the intended parent, both of you will need to obtain some legal representation.

Before the process begins, draw up clear guidelines that will be used for all parties regarding all legal issues you may come across. All pregnancies have risks, so you will need to look into many “what ifs” in the legal process. You would also like to protect the surrogate and ensure that the pregnancy is one that will be smooth.

WHAT IS THE COST?

There are many costs to consider when it comes to surrogacy. Below are some of the considerations you will need to make regarding finances.

~Legal
Not only will you need to seek independent legal advise if you’re the intended parent, but so will the surrogate. You will need to consider what costs you are going to pay regarding all legal issues.

~Counseling
Provide and pay for all counseling that is required by the surrogate and for the intended parents.

~Medical
All medical processes will need to be paid for before, during and after the pregnancy. This will include the original implantation depending on which process you’ve used. It will include all scans, blood tests, and doctor and health appointments.

~Insurance
Due to the many risks involved with any pregnancy, you may need to take out insurance for the surrogate. This will protect all parties, especially the surrogate during the process.

~Miscellaneous
During the pregnancy there are many things that need to be considered. Will you pay for maternity clothing? Will you pay for extra food costs? Will you pay a sum to protect the surrogate if she’s out of work? Will you pay for sanitary items required during labor and childbirth and afterwards?

You will need to consider all aspects of a pregnancy and a woman’s requirements during and afterwards. Even if the smallest item sounds trivial, ensure you have thought about it beforehand.

HOW MUCH CONTROL WILL YOU HAVE?

Although the surrogate may be carrying your intended child, she is still considered the mother. You will need to determine very early on how much control you will have over the pregnancy. Unfortunately this is a very sensitive issue as you are using another women’s body as the vessel to birth a baby.

Regulating how much control you have over another’s body and her decisions are a very important issue in surrogacy.

RELATIONSHIPS DURING AND AFTER

You would hope that the relationship during the pregnancy is one that is amicable. This would depend on many of the above issues and all parties’ approach to the process. But you will also need to consider your relationship after. Will the surrogate be a regular part of all your lives? Will they not be a part of your lives?

There are so many questions to ask before you consider becoming a surrogate or one who is seeking a surrogate. I’m sure many more questions will arise depending on individual circumstances and people involved, and not to forget the questions that the child may ask in the future.

Before you consider surrogacy as an option, consider the many questions above before you do so.