Single Parents Reasons why it is Important to try to get along with your ex

It can be difficult to get along with your ex even under the best circumstances.  After all, the inability to work things out together is probably what led to the separation to begin with.  However, when children are the product of the relationship, it is imperative for the parents to get along because they are forever linked together because of their children.

It is important, however, to insert a disclaimer here.  This is not a discussion about dealing with someone who is abusive, an addict or is engaging in other behavior that may put anyone’s children at risk.  If professional help is required in a given situation, then that should be sought first.  The main point is that getting along with one’s ex is a path to benefitting one’s children, so if there is no way to do that at a given point in time, the needs of the children should be considered first.

How does getting along benefit the children?  There are several ways, but just a few:

Communication is less hindered

Without communication, parenting in general will be difficult at best.  Clear communication creates an atmosphere of understanding from which all other items can be addressed.

Stability is enhanced

When goals and objectives are clearly outlined, then both parents are working towards the same things.  This adds stability to everyone’s relationship in spite of other difficulties.  When parents are able to present a united front even when separated, then the children can still benefit from the stability it provides.  As Yo Expert article “How do you get along with your ex for your kids’ sake?” says, “Not only will they know that everyone is acting in their best interests, they will also know that you are making an effort to get along for their sake.”

Respect is modeled

Children learn how to respect others in spite of differences.  This is something the world needs a lot more of, isn’t it?

Less stress in the relationships

Not only does this reduce stress between the parents, but it creates less stress overall.  When parent is pitted against parent, the child experiences a great deal more stress.  They may even begin to wonder if they aren’t the cause, which is not healthy.  Even if the parents are being disagreeable behind closed doors, children can pick up on this, which causes them stress as well.  Of course, disagreements will occur, and quietly working them out without open arguments in front of the children is paramount.  However, the key is to work them out, as simply hiding the stress does not work.

Everyone needs help from time to time

Being a single parent is never easy.  At least married couples have each other to fall back on under normal circumstances.  Maintaining a healthy relationship with one’s ex might not be as comforting, but at least as long as everyone is focused on the needs of the children, even separated parents can help each other out.

It helps to maintain the bond between parent and child

Children look up to their parents in spite of the parents’ imperfections.  Children in general have that need to have and maintain those nurturing bonds.  Each parent has something to contribute in the growth of a child, and breaking those bonds means the child grows up without that contribution.

Getting along with one’s ex will likely involve some work for both, but their separation should not hinder their responsibility to engage with and help raise the next generation.  As long as both are willing to work towards the benefit of the children, it can and must work.