Ridiculous Baby Products

New to parenthood? This exciting time is full of important choices, like choosing where to birth, deciding on your child’s name, or picking out a safe car seat. It’s also a time when a new or expecting parent can be overwhelmed by all the “must-have” products being thrust upon them by advertisers or well-meaning friends at a baby shower. No one says having a baby is the most inexpensive thing you’ll ever do, but you could save some green (and some sanity) by not picking up these ludicrous baby items.

Take the belly speakers, for starters. Have you seen these? If you’ve been to any cute little baby boutique, odds are that you have. Maybe you even contemplated it, thinking that classical music playing from a belt on your tummy could soothe your little baby. Maybe this writer momentarily considered same. Snap out of it, people! Whew. Your voice and heartbeat are all your baby wants or needs to hear. Besides that, there is actually a growing concern over this practice.

Diamond pacifier, anyone? Seriously. Does anything else need to be said? Probably not, but the snarky reviews on Amazon.com are entertaining.

This next one is a little more controversial. Some parents will recommend these. However, after hearing another mama’s tale of unhappy baby booty, this writer chose to leave a baby wipes warmer off of her registry. The mama’s tale went like this: Once upon a time, she had two baby girls, a couple of years apart in age. She used a wipes warmer for the first child, thinking it would be a nice touch. However, she found that whenever they were out and she had to change daughter’s diaper with non-warmed wipes, her infant was suddenly starring in a Greek tragedy. She opted out of the warmer for the second baby and-you guessed it-her daughter was used to plain old wipes temperature, and was perfectly content.

Infant safety hats. Hey, every parent worries. Every parent cringes and winces when they see their little one bump their heads, but they are learning how to move and live in this world. We’re here to facilitate that process. When they’re learning to ride a bike, a helmet is a must. In the meantime, let’s all just relax.

Can’t stand that sweet, heavenly new baby smell? 

Oh, wait, apparently Dolce & Gabbana can’t. Claiming that they’re just enhancing the newborn scent, they’re offering up bottles of this nonsense for about $45. And they’re not the only ones. Products like “Baby Bangs” to doll up your bald bundle of joy are actually available for purchase.

These are just a few of the most unnecessary. Meanwhile, if you’re a new parent or parent-to-be, relax. Your love is the thing your baby will want more than anything. Okay, and nourishment. And maybe that diamond pacifier.