Purity Balls – No

Admittedly, I had to look this one up before writing about it. When I first saw the topic of purity balls, my first thought was that perhaps this was some new masculine hygiene product that’s all the rage in Europe. When I did a Google search I was fully expecting to be assailed by advertisements such as: Men, are you feeling a little rank south of the navel? Then try our new purity balls! Our purity balls are guaranteed to take away the ooogies leaving your equipment feeling clean and fresh. Or maybe new protective seal on a party ball to keep the beer fresh longer.

However, when I read on the reality of what a purity ball is, I did not know whether to feel amused or put off. The idea of packing hordes of uncomfortable teenage girls, and their equally uncomfortable fathers into a room and expecting them to endure hours of forced confrontation on the topic of sex, that one context in which no dad ever wants to think of his daughter until she is out of college someday, let alone on any given night in her teens; and which likewise no teenage girl in her right mind is going to want to discuss with her father in western society.

The idea, however well intended, is preposterous.

First, the purity ball relies on archaic-modern religious principles in which all parties considering sex-but especially girls-had better both be afraid and ashamed of the idea, not to mention the act of sex; and if they don’t, they must be morally lacking in all ways possible, and are bound for Hell on the express way. I say modern-archaic, because even conservative Christians don’t believe in the whole shame and fear tactics of old.

Secondly, the concept of a purity ball takes away from the idea that women can and should think for themselves in society. Gone are the times when girls relied on boys for all things (and as a tired boy, I say thank you so much). The Purity Ball may have been ideal back in the pre-feministic era, but now it is encouraged, if not out right expected for girls to be as proactive in their own lives as do (and always have) boys.

Thirdly, the Purity Ball says to fathers: Hey, it’s okay buddy, you don’t have to deal with your daughter, because you just do the purity ball thing and everything will take care of itself. Ha! Says I.

And just who am I? Why, I’m a dad. I’m a dad of a three year old girl, who will someday be a teenage girl; and don’t think I’m not terrified of that! I assure you I am most worried over that. Further more I am a Christian dad. I do believe that if she can help it, she should wait until she’s married. However I do not think in any way, shape or form, that a purity ball is the way to go. I will see that my daughter is educated, and well aware both of the science, and the consequences of sex. I will tell her Sweetie, I hope that you wait, because it might mean more to you if you. Your mother and I want you to wait, and most of all God wants you to wait. However if you do choose to go off and have sex, make sure that is what you choose to do out of your own will and of course the condom rant will be in there somewhere. Her mother and I will make sure that she is aware of the pregnancy aspect, as well as the STD ratio (which is nearing epidemic proportions now I shudder what it will be when my little one comes of age), not to mention how sex changes people. I dread going into the whole mechanics of that, but I dread even more hearing the mom, dad, guess what. bomb going off in our living room when our daughter turns say for the sake of argument, fifteen.

In regards to boys, and knowing the way that boys are for having been a boy, and now being the grown version of a boy, I will see to it that my daughter is well versed in the martial arts by the time she starts dating, and she will not be allowed to date until she has her license. No daughter of mine is going to be at the mercy of some hormone-crazed guy holding his keys over her head (and her pants). She will have her own car; an empowering awareness in herself, and her abilities; a working, real life application- based grasp of the martial arts, and if the Taser laws are more flexible by then I will even arm her with the best in non-lethal defense technology that money can buy. However I will not, repeat, will NOT get her all dressed up like a Thanksgiving bird, and parade her around in front of her peers and their dads, in what will ultimately turn into the most confidence shattering experience of my by then teenager’s life.