Punishment for Poor Grades

Many parents acknowledge the importance of education. They do everything just to push their children to have good grades. However, some parents act extremely just to make their children work hard for school. Sadly, to the extent of punishing and hurting them.

I have a cousin who is constantly being punished by her mother because she always receives poor grades. When she was a baby, she was very sickly and I would always hear from my mother that she is in the hospital because they had to fix her esophagus or she just got out of the hospital because she just had her appendix removed. Nevertheless, I admired that kid because she grew to be a cheerful young child. She loves to play, sing, and dance.

However, her greatness ended in the extra-curricular activities. I cannot recall of a weekday or an examination week in which I would not hear her mother scold her because she forgot what her tutor taught her at school. And when the grades come out, her mother would scold her some more and tell her she was not worth the money for education that her father pays for.

My cousin was an only child which is probably the reason why her mother had so many expectations from her, which she did not live up to. After every major scolding she receives, she goes to our house to hug my mother. I would see her eyes that are so sad but there were no tears. She also had problems with her tear ducts because according to the doctor, her ducts are too big so that the tears would not flow out. But I know, if she had tears, they would always be flowing every time her mother shouts at her and scold her because she did not answer the questions in the quiz correctly or that she did not even receive a passing mark during a long examination.

I believe my cousin tries hard to understand what is being taught to her by her tutor and her mother. But maybe, these are really not enough. And maybe, she already knows that, too- that she is not academically adept. There are times during weekends that she plays at our house. She looks very happy every time she plays with my younger sister. They sing and dance almost all the time and she loves doing it and she does it greatly. However, when her mother comes rushing to our house because her mother saw her latest failed assignment, she would just walk out and go home.

My cousin may not have received the physical punishment from obtaining poor grades. However, her punishment was so much greater. Her mom withdraws love from her because of her poor grades. Her mom emotionally abuses her with her words and neglect of her capacities for other talents. To you parents, even though your children receive poor grades, this is not a valid reason to punish them with whatever form of punishment. You just do not know how much you destroy your child’s self-esteem and confidence within himself or herself when you do so.

Motivate them, reinforce them, impose rules, talk to their teachers, or ask the reason why he got a poor grade; but do not punish them harshly. It neither leads to anything good nor benefit your child in any way. It just pulls them down more. And eventually, they might just give up studying because you never supported them, instead, you terrorized them.