Potential Parents will you Copy your Parents Parenting Style – Yes

“When I am a parent, I will NEVER do things the way my parents did them!” For some, this is a definitive methodology, as negative aspects of their childhood inspire them to pursue an alternative parental path. Still, others are perfectly happy with the way that they were raised. Some follow the tendencies of their parents because they embrace that style, or because they don’t know any other way to raise children. Either way, there is always potential to copy the style of parents. Here are a few thoughts on what influences the copying of parental parenting styles.


If we are honest, we will admit that the parenting style we know the best is the methodology of our parents. Granted, there have been many bad parenting performances in the history of the world. Therefore, some people naturally shy away from the methodologies displayed in their past lives. However, we cannot underestimate the power of unconscious behavior. In other words, sometimes we do things just because our brain doesn’t have any other known action to select. In other words, just because we had a negative experience doesn’t mean that we won’t do it anyway, just out of habit.


It is also hard to know what shapes us as we grow up. Are we shaped because our parents made certain decisions regarding our upbringing? Or do we “turn out” a certain way in spite of our parents style of parenting? This makes it very difficult to create our own parenting style because we don’t know what intentional strategies affected us and what situational subtleties impacted our growth.

In essence, copying does not have to mean following a style exactly. If we choose to do something opposite, we are still essentially copying the style, just with a different intended outcome. As mentioned above, most people only have one set of parents, which means that their main influence is their own upbringing. You certainly watch other people parent, but the day-to-day life of living with your parents is probably the most profound in terms of influence, which means that on some level we all copy the parenting style of our parents.