Parenting teens in all aspects

Discussing sexuality with your teen may be uncomfortable and a little embarrassing for both of you. To make your talk with your teen go a little smoother I’ll explain how to discuss sexuality with your teen. Initiate conversation with your teen by simply asking,”have you had sex education in school yet?”. Explain to your teen that you would like to add to what the school has taught him or her by giving your side (parents side).

Once you’ve initiated conversation with your teen it is time to explain what your values are and how you feel about premarital sex. Avoid lecturing,condemning and using phrases like,”if I ever catch you…”,which can shut down a two way conversation very fast. Explain to your teen exactly what your values, feelings and beliefs are about premarital sex are and talk about respect for themselves, their bodies and your feelings.

Ask your teen to explain what they’ve already learned and what are their feelings about sex, premarital sex and abstinence. Finding out what they already know and how they feel is important to reaching that common ground in a two way conversation. Let your teen know that if they ever have any issues or questions about sex they can come to you. Parents should express to their teen the importance of coming to them if they have questions about sex and not their friends.

Teens should not feel afraid to discuss sex or any other subject with their parents. Unfortunately, fear of punishment is one reason teens won’t discuss many important issues with their parents. Try to allay that fear in your teen. Explain to them that you are always there if they need help and reassure them that you care about them.

Mandatory sex education is provided in most schools. The mechanics or ‘how to’ of sex are taught but not values,morality or self respect. Sex education often include options for birth control such as, the pill, abortion and even oral sex. Abstinence is in reality discussed only in some sex education programs as an option for birth control.

When discussing sex with your teen be honest and frank about how you feel. Don’t be authoritative,threatening or demeaning. Do keep the conversation two way and open. This is a parent’s opportunity to teach family morals, beliefs and values that are not taught in school sex education courses.

Keep in mind that your teens might be embarrassed or fearful about discussing issues of sexuality with their parents. It’s up to you the parent, to initiate the conversation and allay their teen’s fears of discussing anything, including sexuality, with parents.

Remember the mechanics of sex are often taught in sex education courses at school so teaching self-respect and values must be taught to teens by the parents at home. Parents must accept this responsibility if they desire that their teens respect their values and beliefs about sex rather than adopting the values of peers or other undesirable sources.

Here’s an important tip: Sexual predators often target children who lack knowledge about sex and who don’t feel good about themselves. Keep this in mind when discussing sexuality with your teens.