Mums Taking Time out

Mother’s work extremely hard even once the children are in bed fast asleep the mother’s work is not done. Being a mother is not a 9 to 5 job, instead it continues all through the day and night. Mother’s lives can be dominated by their children and soon find that they define themselves by their families instead of by who they are as a person which can lead to problems both in the short-term and the long term.

If a mother has no time for herself and all she lives for is bringing up her children then there can be problems which can occur. In the short-term the mother can find that she is becoming less sociable with other people outside from family activities and that she is forgetting who she is as an individual as well as a mother. In the long-term this can lead to attachment problems as children grow up and begin to leave the nest and can cause problems with her being able to adjust to this new life without her children. If you focus all of your attentions on one area then it can lead to depression. 

There are some easy ways in which you can take time for yourself which can help to remind a mother of who you are. It doesn’t necessarily have to involve a lot of time away from your family or a lot of money and you can fit it in around having several children.

* Switch off.
This is a very difficult skill for parents to achieve but is it something which you should attempt to master. Even whilst children are sleeping or whilst you are in bed yourself your mind can be busily planning what you will do the next day, thinking about how your children behaved and other such parental thoughts which are very natural. When you are taking time for yourself try to switch off from thinking about what your family are doing or how they are, instead focus on other things. This will get easier with time and will help you to realise that actually it is possible to do.

* Relax.
Being a busy mother can mean that it is hard to find time to relax but it’s important that you do so. When you get the time to yourself don’t run around the house tidying or preparing meals, instead use this time to take a long soak in the bath or to watch something on the television. If you feel relaxed it releases endorphins which help you to feel less stressed and so this will have a positive impact on you for the rest of the day and will also impact positively upon your family. 

* Have an interest.
Before becoming a parent there were probably a whole list of areas in which you were interested which have now been shelved whilst you focus your efforts on your family. These interests do not have to be forgotten about, you can revive them and fit them around your family life. Take up an evening class in flower arranging or cookery or languages, whatever it is which interests you. Taking a class will help you to meet with others who share a similar interest which isn’t family or children and will give you some structure out side of the home which can be a very positive and rewarding experience as you find yourself achieving things and gaining skills.

* Socialise.
It can be difficult to find the time to see friends away from your children as they do come along with you to most events or if they don’t you may find that the whole time you are with your friends all you do is talk about children. Arrange to have an evening out with friends where you are just ‘friends’ and not ‘mommies’. Enjoy having time where you discuss and laugh about other areas of your lives. This is a great way to unwind and have fun and to remind yourself of who you are as a person.

Being a mother is hard work and it can be very easy for a mother to put her preferences and interests on a back burner. Doing so can lead to problems with identity and can lead to depression and so it is important that moms take the time to remember who they really are and to keep that person alive. A mom with an identity of her own is a happy mom which will then lead to a happier family too.