Female Anatomy

Hey, everyone!

So, technically my theatrical debut (since Middle School) happened last year. I was a Vagina.

Now, I know that sounds weird. Really weird. A tad bit creepy, to be honest. Let me explain: I was in the Vagina Monologues.

One of the best experiences from my freshman year.

Every year, around Valentine’s Day, Lewis & Clark puts on a production of this play. And while it may sound . . . unnerving having a group of women  in the Lewis & Clark Chapel performing excerpts of this play, it’s quite empowering. Because, as the play points out, the female body is often shrouded in mystery. The word “vagina” alone kinda creeped me out my freshman year. I had to get over that fast and, much to my surprise, I did. Two days into rehearsals and I was casually asking “Vagina rehearsal at 8, right?” and “Oh, remind me, which vagina are you?” That was the year I had the Angry Vagina.

I’m not making this up. At the auditions, one of my friends saw the title My Angry Vagina and jokingly handed it to me.

“Marni, needs to release her inner anger!” She insisted.

Since I don’t have a whole lot of inner anger, and what I do have I keep well hidden, I thought this was a stretch. But I auditioned, and much to my amazement, got the part. Then I fell in love with the part. And when I stood up in front of the school, knees shaking and heart palpitating, I brought the house down with my complaints about tampons, thongs, and doctors visits. Which became a bit awkward when a solid two weeks later people were still telling me in the cafeteria that I’d been a “great vagina.” Rather disconcerting to hear while waiting in line for a sandwhich.

This year though, my piece was called Because He Liked to Look at It. And, yes, it has it’s awkward moments too. But I really connected with the point that our standards of beauty come from our culture. And, let’s be honest, most of those standards are completely unachievable. Because I can workout on the treadmill every single day, exist purely on spinach, and I’ll still never look like this:

Kristen Bell. Stunning and super cool. Me? Jealous. Nah . . .

Anyhow, I vote that we love the bodies we’re in. Because that seems like a much better option than burying yourself under a pound of cosmetics or going under the knife.

But back to the Vagina Monologues!

I love this poster! I wish our school's had been this cool.

If you want to watch me perform my monologue you can see it here:

Marni Vagina Monologue

(Warning: this piece has massive amounts of awkwardness and may not be for everyone. If you are concerned, you can always ask a parent to view it first. Or, do what I usually do, watch until I feel uncomfortable and then stop.)

So now everyone who has read my book can see me too!

I hope you enjoy!

More later.

Obsessively yours,

Marni