If Children Behave Badly Who’s to Blame Parents or Child – Parents

Parents need to step up to the plate when it comes to setting boundaries. There needs to be some ground rules for children to follow, so that they are not made up as you go.
Imagine how frustrating it would be for a child if you try to teach them a game, with no specific rules as a guideline, and then changing them as you go along.
It is unfair, and unpredictable.

Children do not know how to behave. They are not born with these skills. It is up to the parents to teach them by example. If you cannot control your own temper, how do you expect your children to be able to control theirs?

What exactly is a contributing factor to such brutal tantrums?
A toddler does not know how to control a tantrum. The feeling of frustration, anger and rage combined with not being able to communicate these feelings, leads to a meltdown of the only way they know how.

You cannot reason with a toddler. They are not listening to you, nor do they want to. Your best bet is to let the tantrum run it’s coarse, all the while, making sure they are safe.

So how can you help?
First of all, don’t expect a toddler to make choices. This is just asking for trouble.
For example, don’t let meal times become a game of choices, that could later lead to a fussy eater.
Parents need to follow through with what they say. If you tell your child to eat three more spoonfuls, then that means three.
If your child spontaneously doesn’t like his favorite dish, don’t make a big deal of it. Simply wrap it up, put it in the fridge and try offering it again another day. When you give the behavior attention, a child will pick up on it, and make it an issue. Just be sure that if food is refused, there will be nothing else to offer on the menu.

A child will misbehave if they are hungry for attention. Make sure that you praise good behavior, so that you give as much positive attention as possible.

Parents should present a united front. This will be the first form of manipulation a child will use against you when he realizes that only mom/dad disciplines while the other stands back. Do not, I repeat DO NOT, undermine your partners attempt at discipline. If dad is the one who put the child in time out, let dad be the one to explain why he put him there and give the child a chance to apologize. There is no need to rescue a child in time out. A three year old will not hold it against you, for three minutes in time out to think about what he has done.

More importantly, this is the foundation your child relies on, throughout childhood and adolescence.

My mother was the disciplinary in our household. Therefore as I got older I realized that I could get away with more, while my mother worked the midnight shift, and in my fathers care. There were no rules and no boundaries, and I took advantage of this from day one.

Children will absorb everything, and realize very young what they can get away with. It is natural for children to test the limits, and push boundaries.
If a child has a tantrum because he wants a cookie, and you tell him no, then later cave in. There will be a lot more where that came from. Expect a few public meltdowns, and grand finales because if they can get what they want at home, they won’t have to try to hard in public.

It all starts at home with the parents.