How to Stop a Child from Hitting

A child hitting is a serious matter. Not because it means your child will become a violent teen but because it is the right time to teach him what is good and bad. Only your communication skills can make a difference and help your child becoming a responsible and healthy adult.

You probably tried different things already. You should never forget that all the things you do and say to your child have real consequences for the very reason that you’re a role model for your child. That is why spanking is useless. It just says “it is OK to hit”. And hitting a child back to show him what it does is a really bad idea and only brings confusion in your child’s mind and reinforces your child hitting behavior. Also, just asking your child to stop it will not help either. Explaining things is very important! Your child can’t understand what is good or bad if you don’t explain it to him.

Also you need to be aware that your child hitting behavior does not come from a bad feeling that makes him want to physically hurt you. It’s just a (bad) way your child finds to express his anger or frustration. It’s important that you understand this first.

Here are the 5 easy steps to go through to end your child hitting behavior:

1. Stay calm, don’t show any anger. Remember your kid imitates you.

2. Say that it really hurts. Show that you’re sad. Make your child feel compassion for you and say that you can’t hit someone you love. It’s not OK.

3. Ask why he hit you. Listen carefully to the answer.

4. Tell your child it’s normal to feel anger. You do feel anger or frustration sometimes too. But it’s better to express it with words. Show him an example.

5. If it happens again, punish him by telling him to stay in his room for 20 minutes to think about what he did. Ask him if he understands this punishment and say you love him (it’s not always obvious for him if you don’t tell him).

No matter which situation you’re facing with your child, there’s always a solution. But you need to be alert and act upon the problems. Indeed, your child hitting behavior can lead to other behavioral problems. The good thing is that you’re not alone and different parenting solutions exist to help you.

I’d like to recommend you a very friendly website called created by a group of parents who met on forums for parents. They selected parenting programs that worked for them and their reviews are very clear and help knowing how each program can help you, depending on your situation, on your child. As a mom, I was glad to find this website and an appropriate method to apply with my kid. Hope it’ll help you too!