How to Resolve Visitation Issues with your ex

To say that divorce is difficult is an understatement in many cases. Divorce is not easy and neither is having to come to an agreement on visitation with the kids. The whole situation becomes even more sensitive when children are involved. Unfortunately, some parents feel the need to try and use their children as a way of getting revenge on their ex. They might miss scheduled visitation meetings or drop the kids off late or not at all. It is not uncommon to hear one parent threaten the other with not being able to see their kids for awhile. If you are having visitation issues with your ex, then read on for some helpful suggestions.

Talk it out

The first thing is for both of you to sit down and calmly try and work out the visitation issues in a calm and civil way. You do not have to try and be best friends, just work out a schedule that is acceptable for both of you and then actually follow through with it. You will have to learn how to be civil to each other for the rest of your lives because you share the responsibility of raising healthy and happy children. 

Ask for help from a neutral third party

If you simply cannot be civil with each other, then perhaps you can ask for help from a neutral third party. They could drop off the kids to your ex and pick them up or somewhat supervise the visitation if necessary. All contact regarding the children can go through the third party that way there is less chance for arguments and ugly situations.

Seek the help of a mediator

If a neutral third party is not an option or doesn’t work out then you and your ex may have to hire a mediator. A mediator can be appointed through your lawyers and the court system or you can hire your own. The basic goal of a mediator is to help you and your ex come up with a visitation agreement that is acceptable to both of you. They can also help make arrangements for the transport of the children from you to your ex and back.

Take it to the lawyers

This should be a last resort because it sometimes only leads to more animosity between you and your ex. If you are being denied visitation of your children, or are having a rough time getting your ex to stick with a schedule, then by all means contact your lawyer. Unless there are certain circumstances, your ex has no right to deny you visitation with your own children.

Through all of the pain and anguish surrounding a divorce, parents must keep the best interests of their children above all else. Adults can pick up their own pieces and move on, but children are not that lucky and are caught in the middle. It is in very poor taste to speak badly to your children about their other parent because you are confusing them. They have the right to love both of their parents and your opinion makes no difference (except in the cases of abuse in any form). The children’s safety and well being are more important than how much you two hate each other now. For the sake of those precious little people you both brought into the world, act like grown ups and work out visitation in an appropriate manner.