How to Handle Pushy Grandparents

The grandparents may assist you in every which way, in the belief they are being helpful and useful, yet you may find them to be overwhelming and pushy. There’s no doubt about it, grandparents can often overstep the mark and cause offence without realizing. They have every care in the world and only want what’s best for their grandchildren, with little regard to how much input they are imparting on you and your way of parenting. It can be infuriating and difficult to deal with pushy grandparents; however, something needs to be done to help temper your nerves and keep your sanity intact.

Help and advice for handling pushy grandparents:

• Take a deep breathe

It can be aggravating to have to deal with pushy grandparents, and whilst your frustration boils it does you no good. This doesn’t help your health and well-being, and it can be damaging to the relationship between you and the grandparents. Take a moment to realize that they have their best intentions at heart and mean no harm. They just want to be involved and feel useful, plus they have been there before and know how it should be done. However, this is not to say you are to agree with their way of parenting. Cool off before dealing with the situation and approach this matter with care.

• Time to talk

Whilst the grandparents have no idea how you are feeling, you are likely at breaking point and about ready to snap. There’s nothing more infuriating than having the grandparents being pushy. It can leave you feeling uptight, angry and less than adequate at times. This is the very reason why you need to sit down to have a calm talk to make things a little easier for you. Choose the right time to approach the situation when you are feeling good and not overwhelmed and stressed, as this can cause things to get out of control.

• What to and what not to say

Here comes the hard part, you need to get everything out there and release your frustration; however, you need to be diplomatic. It is no good letting everything out to cause offense, as remember they are not intentionally causing you frustration. Be mindful of what you say and be gentle. Let them know that you would like a little more control and for them to cool off a little. Let them know that you are grateful for all they do, but you would like to do a little more yourself. This needs to be expressed in the right way to get the message across without causing any harm.

• Be assertive

From the get-go you need to show that you are in control. Don’t allow the grandparents to dictate what they want, as this allows them to overstep the mark. Be assertive and be in control of the decisions that affect you and your children. After all, you need to be confident of your own abilities to feel validated as a person and a parent. You may at times feel a little mean or as if you have offended the grandparents. However, at the end of the day you need to do what is right for you in the most tactful and diligent way.

• Stick together

New parents need to ensure that they agree in as far as parenting is concerned. When advice is offered that is unwanted, it is better that both parents can stand for what it is that is wanted. This makes it seem like you are not being picky or objective for no reason. Your partner needs to back you up and you need to speak to the grandparents together to get your feelings across. There’s no doubt that it’s difficult to handle, however, it can ease the tension and make things much better for everyone involved.

It is no good stewing and getting stressed when grandparents become pushy. The situation needs to be handled so that you can feel at ease and relaxed. It is unfair on everyone for this to continue, and it can only create further problems down the line. You need to stand up and do what is right for you and your children. You and your partner need to handle this together and speak to the grandparents with respect and a gentle manner to put everything in place. Initially feelings may be hurt; however, everything will work out for the better if handled correctly. Remember that the grandparents have their best intentions at heart, so go easy on them.