How to Handle Child self Confidence

The best way to assist your pre-teen’s self-confidence is to remember your pre-teen years. How did you feel? What were your fears? How did you view yourself? Granted, your child is not you. However, by putting yourself back into that time of life creates a more sensitive state of mind for you to relate to the now generation.

Now, as for how you can improve your pre-teen’s confidence, here are a few suggestions:

Be conscious of what you say. instead of being critical about grooming and dress, focus on the positives you find. For example, on the day they finally decide to take a shower, praise how good they look and smell. Bite your tongue and refrain from chanting about how they should find their way to the shower more often.

Have your child prepare a schedule for himself or herself. In it should be the time they will arise for school, what they must take with them to school, when homework will be done, when chores will be done, etc. By having your child prepare their own schedule, they are making the decisions. Have them choose the consequences for not sticking to it. Let’s say they will do their chores right after dinner. If the chores are not done and they have already put on the schedule that they will lose computer game time for the evening if chores are not performed by dinnertime, that privilege is removed for the evening.

Rewards are better than withdrawals or punishments. Any time you can find a reward, do so. Maybe your pre-teen helped take in the elderly neighbor’s groceries from the car without being asked or prompted, give them a extra hour of television time or time out with friends. As a parent, you want your child to do kind deeds for the sheer joy and sensitivity of doing so, but on occasion reinforce the deeds with reward.

Obvious strengths and talents. For observed God-given abilties, why not offer training or contests as encouragement. Your child may not feel like they have any special ability, but once it is assessed by a professional, they cannot deny the fact. Guided lessons to better the ability will certainly raise their level of confidence and pride, for both you and your child. Sometimes kids need another adult to praise them because it is their belief that parents are prejudiced and they are supposed to think their kid is the best. By putting a suggestion to someone your pre-teen respects and admires that they praise your child in specific areas, you will be indirectly responsible for raising your child’s self-confidence.

By all means attend all the events possible that concern your child. Whether this is an Open House at school, a concert in which your child is in the chorus, a baseball game or any other activity, your presence is important. After all, if you don’t show your support, it hurts, no matter what your child may tell you. You are the primary person they want to please and make you proud.

Pre-teen years are extremely sensitive and important for they determine how their teen years will proceed, their perception of themselves and how others view them. Their bodies are awkward, out of proportion, budding, voice is changing and they are feeling strange in all the new developments occurring within their being. It may not hurt to show photos of yourself at that stage and tell stories about how you felt and got through the awkwardness. Not only will it show awareness and sensitivity, but it will demonstrate concern and caring.