How to give advice to your teen girl about sex

While some parents have no problem discussing sex with their children from an early age, others find talking about “the birds and the bees” with their kids as uncomfortable and awkward. No matter how much parents want to deny the fact that their children are growing up and becoming sexually active, the reality is that today’s youth is becoming involved in sexual activity at a much earlier age. So, if you have a daughter, and are concerned about her health, safety and happiness, be sure that you consider the following tips for talking to your teen girl about sex:

Start early

Parents should do whatever it takes to become comfortable discussing sex with their children from an early age. While parents should certainly be aware that their discussions offer age-appropriate information, as children grow into teens and sex becomes a more predominant issue, this early foundation will allow you to have more candid discussions about your daughter’s sexual activity.

Furthermore, parents should be a child’s main source of information about sex, not movies, television or peers. If you want your child to get accurate information about sex, then you should be sure that you provide it for them, rather than relying on external and alternative means of sex education.

Also, from day one, you should work hard to establish a relationship with your children based on openness and honesty. If your child feels a solid bond between you and feels as though she will be loved unconditionally (and not judged) regardless of her actions, then she is far more likely to come to your for advice or assistance, even when it comes to sex.

Create the right environment

When you talk to your daughter about sex, you should be sure that you have first created the right kind of environment. If you begin your discussion with anger or accusations, you will likely find that your child will rebel against this in frustration and ultimately shut you out. Be sure that your daughter is listening intently to every word that you say by creating a comfortable environment where your child feels as though she is not subject to your judgments or criticisms.

Get on the same page

Many teenagers do not talk to their parents about sex because they feel as though their parents will simply prohibit them (in one way or another) from engaging in activities that could potentially lead to sex (like parties). Otherwise, they may simply feel as though their parents are trying to control them during a period of time in their lives when they are attempting to assert their independence.

When you talk to your teen girl about sex, be sure that you both get on the same page with regards to your goals. Your goal, as a parent, is to ensure that your child is happy, healthy and above all, safe. If your teen is going to have sex, there is not much that you can do to stop her. After all, you cannot supervise and micromanage every aspect of her life 24 hours a day. What you can do is offer your help. Tell your daughter that if she is going to have sex, or if she is thinking about it, then you can go with her to take the proper medical precautions (i.e. getting tested for STDs and obtaining birth control and other contraceptives.)

Aside from making sure that your teenager is safe when it comes to sex, also be sure that you discuss the emotional repercussions of sexual activity. Your teen may feel that she is ready to have sex (even though she is not); however, the likelihood that you will be able to convince her of this is slim to none. Instead, offer advice from your personal history. Giving teenagers insight into your personal experiences will not only strengthen the bond that you have, it will show her that you have enough trust in her to open yourself up to your teens judgments and criticisms, which could, in turn, make her feel equally as comfortable and encourage her to do the same.

In conclusion, while talking to your teen girl about sex may seem like a daunting task, you can eliminate awkwardness and discomfort by being candid and remembering that you, too, were once in her position. However, gently remind your child that with sex comes responsibility. If your daughter feels that she is ready and adult enough to have sex, then she should also be held accountable for a greater amount of responsibility. Furthermore, because she is a minor, the ability to make choices for herself is ultimately a privilege. Let your child know that if you feel that she is making poor decisions, being careless, or irresponsible, then you have every right to take privileges away from her as well.