Grandparents Tips for Surviving Grandchildrens Tantrums

If you are unlucky enough to have a grandchild that likes to throw tantrums, you have your work cut out for you. These tantrums do not grow from your house. Children learn to throw tantrums at home to get their way. As a grandparent, it can be difficult to undo the damage caused by poor parenting skills. The real tragedy happens if you allowed your children to throw tantrums. This is bad news. You taught your child how to raise a child to throw tantrums. Now, you get to work on two generations.

You will probably not be able to fix your child. He or she is now too old to learn from you in this area. It is not too late for the grandchildren. This is especially true when they are at your house without Mom and Dad.

Children throw tantrums because they have learned that they work. To break them, you have to make sure that they never work and bring unpleasant results. Psychologically speaking, if a tantrum only works once in a while, the child will not stop them. Intermittent rewards create the strongest conditioning possible. This is why gambling is so addicting.

You must make sure that tantrums never work at your house. If your children insist on giving in to tantrums, the grandchildren must understand that when the parents are not there that tantrums will only bring them grief and despair.

The first step is to just ignore the tantrum. If you have company, just explain to the company that you are going to win the war of the tantrum and ask their indulgence while it is going on. Children always tire of the tantrum. They just expect you to relent before they run out of energy. Wait them out. You will win. Sitting in an easy chair is a lot less tiring than kicking and screaming.

If they hit while throwing the tantrum, send them to a time out place or a bedroom without a TV, radio, or any other form of entertainment. Make it clear that hitting brings immediate punishment. Use spanking only if you know that it will not get out of control and is allowed by the parents. Let the child know that if anything is broken that it will be paid for out of their personal money.

When the tantrum is over, instruct the child to apologize or face consequences. The consequences will be removing something that the child likes for a period of time that fits the offense. If no apology comes, remove the object or privilege and present a new consequence if the apology is not made. If this does not work after the third try, sit the child down and find out what the problem is by talking to him or her.

Once the talk is finished, do not relent on the previously enforced punishments. Find a reasonable compromise for a one-time additional penalty and move on. Usually, after about one to three times of seeing the tantrum fail, it will disappear at your house unless the parents are around. You might try to train the parents again, but it will just lead to disappointment.