Grandparents how to help your Daughter in Law during Pregnancy

Identifying how grandparents can help a daughter-in-law during pregnancy is a bit like defining rules in the average household. In other words, there is no set answer. You could have a clue based on prior incidents with her and you could ask your son for his suggestions. Relationships between in-laws is often touchy and when a woman is pregnant this can be intensified, as most of us know all too well. Just how much assistance she may need depends upon her health, whether or not there are other grandchildren in the family and how many family members she has, who are also offering advice and a lending hand.

Most likely the safest thing is to simply ask her something like, “May we run any errands, prepare meals or perform any household tasks to help you out?” If you can offer specific questions, you are more apt to obtain a positive response. Generally when a vague offer is made, we tend to think of it as being a kind gesture, but not necessarily a sincere one. Perhaps you could offer to take the other children for an afternoon or overnight, so she can rest or have special time with your son. There may be an activity in town to which you could take the youngsters, like a Sesame Street, Thomas the Train or some other children’s theme.

It would be best to shy away from plunging in and cleaning away dishes or straightening up a messy room, because this could be taken as an insult. Remember her hormones are racing and she will be more temperamental than usual. Remembering back to when you and your wife were expecting a baby, recall incidents that ticked one or both of you off, as well as those that tickled your fancy. These may also lend some direction concerning how to handle this delicate situation.

Lastly, you could speak with your son. Tell him what you have in mind. He could either give his suggestions or he may think it best if he approaches his wife with a proposal on your behalf. Peace in the family is especially important during this period of great anticipation and waiting. Speaking of which, any old wives tales or hints for speeding up the process are best kept to yourself unless requested. Chances are that the mother-to-be has had far more “when I was pregnant…” stories than she ever wanted to hear.  She’ll appreciate your sharing them after her experience has come to a fruitful end and she is loving and caring for her bundle of joy.