I don’t want to even imagine what Barney-vampier-zombies would be like. And yesterday was the most horrible Annie practice EVER.

It was scene one, and the orphans were doing their “it’s the hard knock life” dance over and over and over and over. I have no clue what was wrong with it. But we were on the Canon City stage for the first time, since we’d been doing it in Florence up until now.

Me and Ellie were backstage with the dog catcher and the assistant dog catcher from the next scene. They were waiting to go on. We were waiting for the scene to change so we’d have something to do.

There was a lot of waiting going on.

But in the midst of the waiting the assistant dog catcher started talking about his dreams. During the school year he has really violent dreams, he said. And then he started rattling them off. Teletubbies with machine guns, Bugs Bunny with a grenade, teachers and schools and students getting blown up, it was hilarious and disturbing but of course I was fascinated because I am always fascinated by dreams.

If the scenes aren’t changing there is nothing to do. Me and Ellie were so bored we played Mashfry. It turns out that I’m gonna marry Kevin Jonas, live on a farm, have 23 kids, and drive a blue minivan. Ellie got a yellow jeep, a mansion, a couple kids, and the assistant dog catcher with the violent dreams.

I finally was like, “look. I have nothing else to do this entire act, there’s no way we’ll make it to act 2 at this rate, I’m tired, and my mom is here visiting. Can I just go?”

And I could. Awesome.

Tonight is looking to be another bad night, with the added bonus that I have to train in a replacement to do the quick changes on Friday, when I’m off to watch it.

Annie has been the most exciting thing in my life for the past while (except for the whole falling off a bunk bed thing) but I always seem to be too tired to post about it. Sorry. I will now proceed to tell you the tragic story of the Stage Left Three. Me, Michael, and Ellie.

It started at the third practice. I, while normally on stage right, went to stage left to get ready for a quick costume change. Ellie, the 11-year-old prop mistress was there, and so was this kid in a green shirt who acted in a few scenes and had gotten bored. I wrote about it here.

We acted crazy and had a great time, but I totally thought it was a one time thing. The kid in the green shirt wasn’t even supposed to be back there. I didn’t say anything that time, cause we were having so much fun, but when I got to practice the next day and saw that he was there, on stage left, I figured it was my duty to say something. But when I did, the lady I told said, “you mean Michael? The kid who’s doing the curtain?”

He was doing the curtain? And his name was Michael?

That was also the day when I got everything figured out and realized that I would have to stay on stage left. So for three whole dress rehearsals and four whole shows that’s the way it was. Me, Ellie, and Michael on stage left, goofing off and having the most amazing time.

For example, Friday Michael was strutting around like a model. Now while it may seem odd that a 12 year old boy would want to strut around like a model, it is just exactly the kind of thing that Michael does. He is a bit of an odd fish. Actually we are all odd fish. Ellie is bursting at the seams with energy, and Michael is OCD, and things just got extremely strange at times.

So anyway, Michael is strutting around like a model, and I whisper to Ellie, “when he get’s back, just talk to me like you didn’t notice his model bit, and he’ll get all ticked.” So we tried, but Ellie just couldn’t help but laugh and laugh and laugh.

Me: Gah! It’s no wonder you work backstage, you can’t act!

Ellie: Give me a line, and I’ll come in and act it.

Me: Why did you stick the cherry pie in the drier?

Ellie went behind the tormentor. Then she strode back in.

Ellie: Why did you stick the cherry pie hahahahhahah!!!

Me: I’ll show you how it’s done.

I went behind the tormentor. Then I strode back in.

Me: Why did you stick the cherry pie in the drier?

Michael: I didn’t do it! You did.

Me: What are you talking about? I saw you put it in the drier!

Michael: Well fine, but you dared me to do it!

Ellie: He wanted to make his socks red for valentines day.

We continued on like this, but presently we decided to do something new. I would be the big sister, Ellie would be the little sister, and Michael would be the dad. Ellie would come in and say that I had hit her.

That one lasted until Michael and Ellie were ganging up on me so much that I stomped off saying “nobody understands me!” and they totally cracked up.

That is just a sample, the tiniest of samples, of the things that went on on stage left. And then, yesterday, I got to the theater and was told that Michael was no longer doing the curtain.

WHAT?!??!

Yeah. He had been fired.

Well. I wasn’t too happy about that, and neither was Ellie. But it was hard to get a clear idea of what he had done wrong. I mean, we knew that the night before he hadn’t closed the curtain quite quickly enough but it didn’t seem like a big enough thing to fire him for.

We went to see him at intermission and he did the classic Michael babble. Half the time me and Ellie have no clue what he’s saying. So it was hard to get a clear idea why he was gone, but he mostly blamed it on other people anyway. And then today he said that people complained about how much we were goofing off backstage, and so they took him off.

Well that scared me cause I knew we goofed off a lot, but I thought we were always very aware of our duties, and made sure that they came first. It made me annoyed that no one ever said anything to us before pulling him off, because I think I, as the oldest by far, could have settled things down more if I knew we were any sort of problem. But when I talked to Marcy about it she said that only one complaint had included me so she didn’t think I needed to be told. But I guess Michael had more complaints and so they decided that it was a mistake to get someone so young to do it.

And Ellie, being young too, was in danger of being dismissed as well. I think she did well enough today that she’s still on, but man. Things can be so great and you can be so close to people, and then bam, they are gone forever. It is freaky.

Especially because of the increasing possibility that I’ll move to back to Oregon shortly and never ever see these people again.

Yesterday I made a strawberry pie, a bonnie butter cake, and started on an apron. When I told mom this she said, “What’s next? You’re getting married?”

Ha ha ha.

I also bought a pheasant-under-glass. I don’t really know what they’re actually called. They look like this.

There was this song we used to sing at school about my mother being the greatest cook ever who could make a chocolate cake without a recipe and make bologna taste like Pheasant under glass. I didn’t think Pheasant under glass sounded particularly appetizing, but when I asked Mom what it was she said it was just Pheasant meat under a glass dome.

Ever since then I’ve called those glass domes “pheasant-under-glasses.”

Well I’ve been getting into baking lately and I kept looking at goodwill for a pheasant under glass. I finally found one yesterday.

I made a bonnie butter cake with two layers and frosted it but it still looked pretty awful. So I stuck a plastic pear on top of it. I thought maybe the plastic pear would make it look more artistic. It helped a bit, but then the pheasant under glass didn’t fit on top of it. So I sunk the pear deep into the cake, and it made the cake fall apart even more.

It’s so weird. I never thought I was the domestic type. Amy cooked and cleaned and sewed and I hated it all.

What changed?

Homemade cake is really good.

I GOT MY RESEARCH PAPER DONE TODAY!!!!!!!! Finally finally finally I am actually getting close to getting my high school work done. It is an amazing feeling.

I now have to do once pace of economics and finish up various books and reports on books that compromise my Christian Literature and then I’ll be done. And it’s mostly enjoyable work so it shouldn’t take too long.

And then I’ll get a netbook. Oh yeah!

This Thursday Annie starts up again!

Next Tuesday my Mom comes!

So it seems as though my life is falling into place and going smoothly. I have my life very nicely and neatly planned up to October 20 and then I have no clue what on earth is gonna happen to me. It’s a strange feeling, really.

My landlord is selling my house. I don’t have a job. In a couple of months I could be living permanently in Colorado, or I could be living permanently in Oregon.

I am very tired of explaining my life to people. Life would be so much easier if everyone read my blog.

For instance, when I came to Church with a band-aid on my chin, I got asked a gazillion times what happened to me. But a few people came up to me and said, “so, how is your chin doing?” They already knew what happened, because they read it on my blog. It was so amazing.

I got a blue dress for free today.

The other day I was eating a brownie and I had the following thought process. “Bleh. I don’t really feel like eating this brownie. I’ll look in the fridge and see if there’s something else to eat. Oh! Sweet, I have lettuce! Wait a minute…I just had the weirdest thought process ever.”