Discouraging abusive behavior in kids

Abusive behavior in kids is a difficult behavior to deal with. This behavior is mostly seen in kids with issues such as opposition defiant disorder, bipolar disorder and even attention deficit disorder. Kids who show abusive behavior are showing a need to have control over another.

If your kid is exibiting abusive behavior, you need to get to the core of the problem instead of just dealing with each abusive situation as they appear. How do you do this? 

Hold the kid responsible for his behavior

The abusive kid needs to be held responsible for this behavior. Children who show abusive behavior are trying to push responsibility onto the person that is being abused. The fault lies solely on the abusive kid and he must be made to see this.

If the abusive kid is not shown that this behavior is his responsibility, he will continue this behavior and see no reason to change it. Sit him down and discuss this abusive behavior with him. Make sure he knows that this abusive behavior is not the fault of the person who he is abusing, but his fault. Also, make sure he knows there will be consequences for his abusive behavior.

Teach problem-solving skills

Abusive children, especially children who have opposition defiant disorder, use abuse to solve their problems. They need to be taught problem-solving skills. The abusive kid will try to blame the person who they are abusing for their behavior. They need to understand that the blame lies with them alone.

When an abusive situation arises, correct the abusive child, letting them know this is not the way to handle problems. Sit them down and discuss other ways of solving problems besides being abusive to others. Focus on how the abusive kid can avoid getting into trouble, not just how to stop the abusive behavior.

Seek outside help

If, after trying to stop the abusive behavior by problem-solving, your kid is still exhibiting abusive behavior, you may need to seek outside help for the kid. Seek out a child counselor, who has expertize in counseling abusive children.

Call the police

If the abusive kid is out of control and you are afraid of him and what he may do, call the authorities. Do not allow the abusive child to continue this behavior. They have to know that there are consequences to their actions of abuse. Calling 911 and getting the help of the police is the right thing to do, even though it may be the hardest decision you have to make.

No child should be allowed to become abusive towards another. Employing the above recommendations can help the abusive kid to find appropriate ways to solve their problems instead of being abusive.

For more information about how to end abusive behavior in a child visit the Empowering Parents website.