Developmental Milestones

Letting go of your child is not something that can be carried out so easily.  You always want to be the one to make sure that your child is making the right decision and if you can, you will help your child in making such decisions because you think you know best. You think that since you have experienced life so much earlier and that you have gone through so many life changing and challenging moments, you start to think for your child rather than letting him to think for himself even in the simplest tasks.

Do you have a developmental milestone chart in your home? This is a very good guide for you to use. The developmental milestone from infancy to maturity as seen in Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development is, in my opinion, presents a very balanced guide for you to refer to and apply throughout your child’s life span. This chart outlines the basic conflicts and outcomes at each developing stage of your child. According to Erikson, each stage plays a major role in the development of personality and psychological skills. Please feel free to take a look at other examples as well. At the end of it all, you will know that experts have spent so much time in research and development to prepare you in knowing when to let go of your child.

You need to always remind yourself that you are letting go of your child everyday from the time he is born. Every stage requires you to let go and you cannot cling on to your child like he is born to serve your motherhood. You need to see that your child from the time he is born is always looking out for independence. This is the reality of human life. Each cycle is a fight for freedom for your child to make decisions. You can spend hours lecturing him but when you look deep into his eyes, you will know what he really wants and it is best you let him go. Failure to recognise this will result in a child that is rebellious but at the same time trying to make sense of his identity and purpose of his existence on this earth. Is this what you want?

What is your responsibility then? Your responsibility is to make sure he is fully prepared at each cycle through your knowledge, understanding, wisdom, guidance and of course the main four letter word: LOVE. It is not easy, let me remind you but when your heart feels the tug that your child wants to do something on his own even though he is aware of the consequences, you must be so very prepared to let him go. However, assure him that you will stand by him irrespective of the consequences. Assure him that you will in fact love him even more because he has decided to take that bold step of making his own decision. Your child will remember this when he makes that decision and before you know it; he has actually taken the right step and did what is not only good for him but also for his loved ones. Your child needs to know deep down in his heart that no matter what happens to him, your arms are always open to embrace him. 

As a mother, you are always fearful of the choices that your child makes. In fact, sometimes the choices are beyond your imagination but you must remember that your child is facing tensions in meeting the demands of today’s life expectations. It is never going to be easy for him as you see the rapid changes taking place in and out of his surroundings. You need to always keep in touch with what is going on so that when he comes to you, you know exactly what he is talking about. This will create a comfortable conversation of exchanging ideas and opinions. He is more than willing to listen to you at this crucial point of him seeking answers before he makes a decision. You on the other hand are assured that you can let him go with confidence.