Can you Buy your Childrens Affection with Expensive Gifts – No

It is lovely to be in a financially secure situation but that does not mean you need to buy the love of your children because you have the money, or because it is easier to give them the material things they want rather than focusing on their emotional security and wellbeing.

We all want things, even as adults there are things on our wish lists that we want but for one reason or another cannot justify buying on a whim. Somehow the satisfaction of desiring something, then saving for it and finally buying it is hugely satisfying – that is the lesson we should be imparting to our children. By teaching them that you can’t always have what you want when you want it is a valuable life lesson for them. It is not a competition, though sometimes it does feel like that, but we don’t have to buy them material items just because their peers have them, after all it takes away from the excitement of birthdays and Christmas and leaves nothing to look forward to.

If children have pocket money or allowances then let them use that money to buy some of the things they want and if they have not got enough money then they have to save until they have and if they are not prepared to do that then you have to question just how much they really want the item. Sometimes when a child has furiously saved every penny and they finally have enough money to buy what they want they change their mind!

How does money equate to love? well it does not, it is a cowardly way of avoiding saying no – what is it that people fear? Do they think that by denying their child the latest computer game or the newest doll that will change their child’s feelings of love towards them? If it was so easy to lose our children’s love and trust then there would be millions of miserable people in the world. A child will be momentarily angry with its parents for saying no but they will get over that, and they will probably ask again and the answer will still be the same and they will continue to sulk when it is refused, but in the long term they will appreciate the fact that you as a parent imposed boundaries.

What of those parents who use money to buy space for themselves and justify it by buying an expensive present? It is so sad to think that there are people who find it easier to buy a child something rather than give a hug or spend some quality time with them but it happens. If they believe that as an adult their child will say that they felt secure in their parents love because they always had everything they wanted, then they are deluding themselves. More than anything children need the love and security of both parents and if given a choice the vast majority would always choose the love of their parents above everything else.