Allowing for Change in Relationships

We were late. The information i had printed out from home hadn’t quite included where exactly we needed to be. We wandered around aimlessly trying to find our first college campus tour. Luckily, the tour found us. We were able to hop in one of the groups unnoticed. The group of parents and prospective first year students were being led by a perky upperclassman who appeared to be glistening, not sweating in the 90+ degrees. She took us around campus, and explained some things about campus life. I wanted to not be impressed. I wanted to hate it. I want to dislike any school that is taking my firstborn away from me. My son, my pride and joy, and the apple of my eye. Letting go of him is going to be very difficult for me. Kindergarten was okay. Reality hit hard by 8th grade graduation. I sat in that cold, uncomfortable metal chair in an auditorium filled with other moms and dads and grandparents with tears streaming down my face. My son was growing to be an formidable young man, and I was helpless to stop the process.

The hard truth is choosing a college is the most important decision in my son’s life at the moment, and i have to try hard to focus on that. This transition to manhood must be about him not me. This year, his senior year in high school, is going to be stressful enough without mommy not being able to cut the cord. While he is making decisions that will change his life for the better,I will be praying to God i can get through it all.

As we walked around with our tour, i could tell my son was in his element. He seemed to know his way around. Truth be told, he had gone to camp at this particular campus for several years. Even so, this campus seemed to suit him. He even loved the history of the school. I know he will flourish here, i was thinking. He will blossom into what he is destined to be anywhere he goes.

I will cry on that fateful day in September 2008. His dad and sister will cry too, I think. He has been a joy and a blessing. At that point in time it will be my turn to share that joy with the rest of the world.

my son said something to me on that tour that i will always remember, and quite possibly help me through this difficult time. The perky tour guide was spouting off about parties and said “Mom and Dad, there will be parties. We can’t study 24/7!” I asked him how was i going to keep him on the right path and keep him focused on the more important things while we were so far apart. He looked right at me and without batting an eye he said…..

“Mom, you’ve been doing that for seventeen years.”